What Is Sex Addiction?

Sex addiction is a persistent pattern of uncontrollable sexual behaviour that negatively impacts an individual's life. This isn't just about the specific actions but the inability to control or cease these behaviours. While some therapeutic professionals caution against listing specific sexual activities deemed compulsive (arguing that it might stigmatize certain behaviours), it's crucial to differentiate between the behaviours and one's dependency on them. For comparison, alcohol addiction isn't about the type of drink, like gin or whiskey, but the act of excessive drinking. Similarly, the problem with sex addiction isn't the sexual act itself but the unhealthy dependency on it.

A common misunderstanding is that sex or porn addiction is solely about high sexual desire. Many with this addiction don't necessarily derive pleasure from their actions; some even report diminished libido because of their compulsive behaviours. The primary driver for such individuals isn't necessarily sexual satisfaction but a deeper psychological need or a craving for the dopamine rush in the brain. For instance, a porn addict spending hours online might be more engrossed in edging, the continuous state of arousal, rather than the act itself.

Sex addiction shares similarities with eating disorders like bulimia, anorexia, and compulsive overeating. All these disorders represent a distorted relationship with a natural instinct, whether eating or sexual activity. A person with a healthy relationship with food or sex uses them to satisfy natural desires. However, when this relationship becomes unhealthy, it becomes less about satisfying the primary need and more about addressing a deeper emotional or psychological void.

While some believe their sex or porn addiction stems from a high sex drive, a closer examination often reveals deeper emotional triggers. Like someone with an eating disorder might misjudge their hunger signals, those with porn addiction might misread their sexual motivations. The crux of the issue isn't solely about satisfying a primary desire but addressing a deeper emotional need. Over time, these needs might intertwine with genuine cravings. As an example, if an individual turns to sexual activity every time they feel lonely or stressed, they might eventually link these emotions to a need for sexual gratification, even if there's no genuine desire present.

Pornography addiction is a specific type of sex addiction. While it shares some commonalities with other forms of sex addiction, its origins can differ, particularly among younger individuals who have always had easy access to online pornography. Increasingly, research highlights the intense impact of readily available pornography on the brain. We'll delve deeper into this later, but it's worth noting that this new understanding suggests that porn addiction might be more about changes in the brain than underlying psychological issues.

Unfortunately, many individuals don't realize their dependency on porn until its effects permeate other aspects of their lives. This might manifest as strained relationships, decreased interest in work, or even a reduced ability to be intimate without the stimulus of porn. In extreme cases, some might venture into cyber sex or seek out sex workers, cross personal boundaries, violate partner commitments, or escalate to content that does not align with their sexuality.

While treating porn addiction mirrors general sex addiction, it necessitates an added focus on relapse prevention and forming a healthy, chosen sexual lifestyle.

Mark Chamberlin

Counsellor/Mentor